Discover Pinterest’s 10 best ideas and inspiration for Funny alcohol quotes. Drinkware and Barware. Alcohol makes everything funny, which is why we have the best and funny alcohol quote, alcohol jokes, and alcoholic jokes as well. 100 characters remaining. Funny Drinking QuotesDrink QuotesFunny Quotes About AlcoholBeing Silly QuotesQuotes About DrinkingDrinking CaptionsQuotes About WineFunny Thank You QuotesFunny Wine Quotes. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn’t drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. We are talking about funny alcohol quotes to help keep you motivated to finish work in time to enjoy a glass or two or three. “Drinking makes you happy with your body the way it is.”. But alcohol can’t talk. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk, they’re sober.” —William Butler Yeats, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. You can see them here: https://www.etsy.com/shop/KellysMagnets?search_query=gift+wrap, Anne Taintor insprired Menu Planner & Recipe Cards, Getting drunk can lead to many good things, but many bad things as well. This list is funny AF and will keep you going till you clock out. Image discovered by J.B.1101. But how many are born because of it?” —, “A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —, “Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.” —. “Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength but in whiskey is the water of life.” —, “If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” —Rodney Dangerfield, “Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.” —Unknown, “I try to convince myself that it’s the alcohol talking. Scott Fitzgerald, “Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!” —Unknown, “You look like I need another drink.” —Unknown, “Good people drink good beer.” —Hunter S. Thompson, “Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.” —Unknown, “The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!” —Danny Jansen, “There are more old drunkards than old physicians.” —Bernard Shaw, “I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking.” —Unknown, “I work until beer o’clock.” —Stephen King, “Act single, see double, drink triple.” —Unknown, “When I drink alcohol…everyone says I’m alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I’m fantastic.” —Unknown, “There is no bad whiskey. Alcohol Captions “Drinking before 10am makes you a pirate not an alcoholic” – Unknown “Drink triple, see double, act single” – Unknown “Watch me sip, watch me lay lay” – Unknown “Step aside coffee! “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” “Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.” “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” Top Ten Funny Alcohol Sayings “Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question! “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches. Though we all know that drinking is not good for health but it is hard not to appreciate the creativity in these quotes written in favor of drinking. In this post, you will find funny alcohol sayings. 6. … My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people. Here is the most hilarious of them. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them … This is a job for alcohol!” – Unknown After that you just take the girl’s clothes off.” —Raymond Chandler, “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” —Humphrey Bogart, “I drink too much. See more of goodvibesandhightides’s content on VSCO. 14 Drinking Quotes to Remember if You Love Alcohol a Little Too Much It’s all fun and games until you wake up the next morning … By Katie Robinson April 17, 2018 On the other side is a magnet (as show in the last photo). What are we drinking? HAPPINESS IS WHISKEY, Funny Bar Decor,Whiskey Quote,Whiskey Bar Art,Home Bar Decor,Alcohol Quote,Drink sign,But … Funny alcohol quotes. But how many are born because of it?” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.” —P. I hate when people say that you don’t need alcohol to have fun. Love Quotes. You will find here top ten funny alcohol sayings selected by our team. Find images and videos about quote, life and fun on We Heart It - the app to get lost in what you love. “There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” … ? ”. Most people use motivational quotes to get through the work week but we like to use funny alcohol quotes to keep us motivated for the weekend. See TOP 10 alcohol one liners. “ The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. Bar Quotes Jokes Quotes Sarcastic … 5 out of 5 stars (470) 470 reviews $ 15.00. The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist. — Unknown. 9. There’s nothing that captures those. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. Susan, you have to stop drinking wine. Funny Alcohol Joke – 2 “Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. 35 Inspirational Mental Health Quotes And Sayings. Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Alcohol Quotes T-Shirts now! With funny drunk quotes from people like Dorothy Parker and W.C. Fields, to champagne wisdom from F. Scott Fitzgerald, to beer sayings from Plato, we’ve collected some of the best words on alcohol ever spoken. Absolutely hillarious alcohol one-liners! Designed by Elegant Themes | Powered by WordPress, 54 Beautiful Las Vegas Quotes and Sayings. I believe I’ll have another beer.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is not the answer but it makes you forget the question!” —Unknown, “My second marriage had a lot to do with alcohol.” —Mercedes McCambridge, “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” —Oscar Wilde, “Here’s to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” —F. Sayings Point is a website that has a huge collection of sayings on various topics. Posted by admin | Mar 9, 2018 | Funny | 0 |. 5. “Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. I made this magnet using a Tecre punch. It can’t even get itself out of the bottle.” —David Levithan, “I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. Margaret Cuomo. There are so many funny alcohol quotes that we keep coming across. 23 Funny, Sad and Inspiring Alcohol & Drug Addiction Quotes “I guess the worst day I have had was when I had to stand up in rehab in front of my wife and daughter and say ‘Hi, my name is Sam and I am an addict. Anonymous. It’s a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.” —Luis Bunuel, “99% of all problems can be solved by money – and for the other 1% there’s alcohol.” —Quentin R. Bufogle, “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” —Kaiser Wilhelm, “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.” —Benjamin Franklin, “I have made an important discovery… that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.” —Oscar Wilde, “Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. Funny Quotes. Add Comments Comment and share this joke on Facebook or Twitter. ). It just sits there. BrainyQuote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. Post Cancel. I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Apr 1, 2017 - Explore Trudy Ceccarelli's board "funny alcohol quotes", followed by 302 people on Pinterest. 12. 10. Ernest Hemingway. 30 Funny Christmas Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Through the Holidays Reader's Digest Editors Updated: Dec. 16, 2020 These witty words … Alcohol Sayings and Quotes. Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old alcohol quotes, alcohol sayings, and alcohol proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. Drinkers quotes range from the simple quip, to … If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” – Eleanor Early I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not. Sometimes all you need to get through the workday are some random memes. “Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.”. “. It makes a sturdy magnet with the design sealed behind mylar. Someone from Kilgore, Texas, US posted a whisper in the group Over 40, which reads "My tolerance for alcohol is way higher than my tolerance for people." 7. 8. '” ― Samuel L. Jackson Quote Of The Day Feeds. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” —Henny Youngman, “I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.” —Unknown, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.” —Kinky Friedman, “I cook with wine,Sometimes I even add it to the food.” —W.C Fields, “If you drink to forget, please pay in  advance.” —Unknown, “Alcohol doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against tables, chairs and walls.” —Unknown, “Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” —Homer Simpson, “Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.” —Unknown, “It’s true, alcohol kills people. 1. 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